I Knew You Before
by angelic-bitch
Summary: Remus and Tonks meet under unusual circumstances before the Ootp. What will happen years later when they meet again? She has had a bad encounter with werewolves in her past, what will happen when she finds out he is one? Please Review!
1. Messy Transformation

**Yep I'm starting another story, even though I'm not even close to finishing my others. I love Remus Lupin!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Harry Potter, it is all the work of J.K. Rowling**

**Tonks at the age of 15:**

Since she had woken up that morning, Tonks had changed her hair colour from one end of the spectrum to the other and back again. None of the colours felt right until finally she decided to go with her natural dark chocolate hair colour. She was very nervous because of what she was about to do. She had been visiting her cousin Sirius Black in Azkaban prison for the last year and even though nobody else believed that he was innocent, she did. She could just feel it. She had given up on trying to convince her mother of this and now she was about to try one of Sirius' old friends, Remus Lupin. She wondered if this guy would be able to see that she looked a bit like Sirius, there was definitely a an obvious family resemblance when she was in her natural form.

She had promised Sirius that she would try to find his old friend and visit him before the holidays ended and a new year started up at Hogwarts. It wasn't hard to find his address. He was listed in the witch and wizard phone directory of England. She was nervous because, for one thing he lived in the dodgy side of London and she was going alone, but also because her mission was to try and convince this man that she had never met, that Sirius didn't betray Lily and James Potter to their death and that it was all a misunderstanding and that it was his other friend Peter Pettigrew's fault. It sounded ridiculous to her ears even though she believed it. But there she was, travelling on the Knight Bus, wondering how on earth everything would play out once she got to his flat.

All too soon she arrived at his place, the Knight Bus was quick like that. It was in one of those low income housing buildings, she definitely didn't feel at home. She bit her lip. _Oh come on Tonks, show a little spine, you weren't sorted into Griffindor for nothing, be brave._ She knocked on the door three times, loud and clear. She wasn't sure what she had expected, a big beefy guy with lots of tattoos and piercings she supposed, but the man who answered the door had a gentle and kind look about him. She found him quite handsome He had a great scar across his right cheek, obviously he had endured some sort of pain in his life. _That's just like mine._ Tonks had a scar across her left cheek also, however, being a metamorphagus she would always cover it up so no one knew. He looked tired and troubled like Sirius.

"Yes?" Remus smiled politely at her,

"Uh hi" Tonks said in a high pitched voice. "Are you Remus Lupin?"

"Yes" he answered kindly. "And who might you be?"

"My name's Tonks" she extended her hand which he happily took, he smiled. "I'm here on behalf of Sirius Black"

He dropped her hand immediately, a look of shock and anger upon his face.

"What about Sirius Black?" he growled in a low voice that scared her. She took a few steps back.

"P-please, I know this must come as a shock to you, I-I'm sure you've tried to forget him these last 8 years, but I have a message from him and-"

"I don't care, you have no idea what you're talking about little girl, go home" he sneered at her and tried to slam the door in her face.

The way he said "little girl" made her angry and she wanted to punch him. Any fear she had felt had gone and so had her hair colour. It was now bright, blood red, as were her eyes, she looked rather sinister.

"I know a lot more than you do at this point" she screamed and abruptly stopped the door from closing and pushed her way into his flat.

"You know you really do a wonderful impression of Professor Snape, the Slytherin bastard" She snapped at him and then she looked around. It was a rather small space. The furniture was mismatched and the carpet was clearly very old. When she turned back to Lupin he was staring at her in shock. She was used to it.

"I'm a metamorphagus" she explained gently as her eyes returned to their natural colour.

He still stared for a while, then he nodded slowly, admiring her appearance, he thought she looked rather pretty. Tonks took advantage of his silence.

"Sirius is my cousin, well second cousin, my mum is Andromeda, I've been visiting him for the last year. I believe that he is innocent"

Remus sighed. "Of course you do, he was after all, the one with all the charisma. Tonks your deluding yourself, he's a wonderful liar, take this from someone who knows, he got us out of many detention's that way. Lying is his speciality".

"No you don't understand -" she pleaded.

"No you are the one who doesn't understand, whatever he has told you is a lie!" He grabbed her wrist firmly and led her out of the door, she tripped a little on her way out but caught herself before she hit the floor. "Now please, I would appreciate it if you didn't come back here" and he slammed the door shut.

She stared at the door in fury, her eyes as red as her hair again.

"Well that's too bad Lupin! I'll be seeing you again" she yelled so that he would hear her. She spun around to walk away and tripped and fell to the floor. "Damn" she breathed. '_Poor Sirius_' she thought. She really didn't like this Lupin guy, but she wouldn't give up, she planned to visit him again in the next holidays.

And that's what she did, every holidays for the next five years she managed to show up at his door step to try and plead Sirius' case, all she wanted to do was convince Lupin to just visit his old friend. And every time he would get more angry and kick her out.

The last time she ever tried to talk to Lupin was just before Sirius had broken out of Azkaban,

**Tonks at the age of 20:**

"Hello Remus" she said in a sing-song voice as he answered the door. As soon as he saw it was her he tried to shut the door. "No, no we shall have none of that" she teased. Tonks had gained confidence over the years, especially since this year she had been accepted to Auror training school.

Remus looked her up and down and couldn't deny that she was looking more beautiful than she had the previous year. He hated her partly because of this. He had shut the world out after losing James, Lily, Peter and Sirius, but Tonks kept on pushing herself in. He hadn't felt a woman's touch over 14 years and every year she would visit him, looking more beautiful than the last. She was a temptress and she didn't even know this power that she had.

She had picked a particularly bad evening to see him, it was the night of a full moon and any minute now he would be transforming

"Tonks, please go" he said abruptly.

"No" she said and blasted the door open with her wand. "You and I are finally going to talk about this Lupin and I'm not leaving until you agree to visit Sirius" and she plonked herself down on his sofa and crossed her legs.

He could feel it, the evil taking him over, he had taken his Wolfsbane potion but that didn't mean the process of transformation wasn't messy. Usually his thoughts before he turned were not pretty and he had never been in the presence of someone else before when it happened – at least, no one human at the time. His eyes were drawn to the skirt she was wearing, he noticed the milky colour of her thighs, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to make love to her or bite her delicate skin. '_Shit, it's happening_' he panicked. The change over was happening in his mind. This was how the potion worked, the wolf would take over his thoughts until he was fully transformed, only then would his thoughts return to normal.

"You pathetic slut" he snarled at her. Her eyes snapped up to his in shock. "It's been five years, do you really think that after all this time you could somehow convince me to believe that murderer's innocence. Is that really why you come here princess? Because by the way you dress, it seems you're here for a very different reason" he looked her up and down and licked his lips.

She looked scared, like a lost child. '_No stop it!!!' _ the man screamed to the wolf inside, but it was too late for that, the wolf was drowning him out. He saw her move to zip her jacket up and was over to her like a flash, he grabbed her hands. "No dear, don't lets cover up all of your..." he looked down at her womanly curves, "charms" he finished.

"You son of a bitch" she glared at him, he could see the tears forming in her eyes. _What have I done? Stop this!_ He forced the wolf in him to let go of her. She punched him square across the mouth. With his wolf reflexes he saw she was about to whip out her wand, but he did nothing to stop her, he deserved whatever she was about to do and before he knew it he was flying backwards and had slammed violently into the wall.

"I trust Sirius when he tells me you're not a bad person" she said breathing heavily, "So whatever it is that is going on here, you are going to regret it. And if you ever dare see me again, you better be on your knees begging me for forgiveness". And with those last words she was gone.

The next morning Remus woke up in human form and as his memory of the previous nights events flooded back. He wanted to find Tonks and beg for her forgiveness like she had said. It took a lot of strength for him to not try to find her. _It's better that she thinks I'm a bastard then to know the truth_. He hoped for her sake that they would never meet again, but secretly, he was hoping beyond all hopes that he would be able to at least glance at her beauty one more time.

It would be a whole 2 years before his secret wish came true. But the point is, that it did.

**Oooo, I wonder what it will be like when they meet again.**

**Please review!**


	2. Reunion

**Two years later:**

It was Tonks' second month as an Auror when the Order of the Phoenix had recruited her. Tonks knew that from this year on, life as she knew it would change. He who must not be named was back. There was no denying it. Sirius had escaped from Azkaban two years before. She had not heard or seen from him since. She hated him for that. She prayed for him every night, hoping beyond all hopes that he was all right. She had heard that Remus Lupin had been working at Hogwarts during that year. Not that she cared, or at least, she tried to convince herself of that. She was surprised that he never sought her out to ask if she knew anything about the escape. _Maybe he just didn't care, the bastard_.

Tonks wondered if Lupin cared about what was going on in the world at the moment. '_Who cares!' _she berated herself. She knew her views and they were the only ones that were important. She was very excited to be joining the Order, not that she had met them yet, all she knew was that both Mad Eye and Kingsley were in it, which she was happy about. She had grown quite close to both of them. Mad Eye was somewhat like a second father figure to her, she enjoyed being cheeky towards him and even though he would never laugh she could tell that he found her quite amusing. And Kingsley was like the older over protective best friend. He always valued her opinion and would often say that he liked how she "never looked at situations as if they were in black or white - or even grey". She would laugh at this and say "Is that supposed to be irony?"

On the evening she was to have her first meeting with the Order, Mad Eye had summoned her to his office, Kingsley was there when she arrived. The both looked very serious. _Uh oh, I hope they haven't changed their minds about me joining the Order, stupid over protective gits._ Tonks closed the door.

"You don't want me to come tonight," she stated flatly.

"Uh, no, no, that's not it," Kingsley said quickly, then exchanged glances with Moody.

"Then what is it?"

"It goes like this Nymphadora" started Moody. Tonk's hair turned red from anger at hearing her name, but he ignored it. "We just wanted to warn you about a particular person in the Order, we, uh, we just don't want you to be surprised and worried when you meet, we need things to run smoothly within the Order"

"Ok" she said slowly. _Please don't let this person be Remus Lupin, argh, that's ridiculous, how could they know your hatred for him?_ Tonks argued with herself, while Kingsley and Moody took a great effort in choosing their words, they weren't sure how she would react.

"You will most likely hate this man, you see, but you have to know the truth. He's a good man, he was wrongfully accused".

Tonks' eyes grew wide at this. _It can't be._

"Sirius Black" Tonks and Kingsley said at the same time, though Tonks had whispered it disbelievingly.

"You know where he is? He's a part of the Order of the Phoenix? H-he's safe?" she croaked, her eyes still wide from the shock. She then covered her mouth with her hand as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Both male Aurors exchanged another worried glance. Moody looked a little awkward from this open display of emotion. Kingsley walked up to Tonks and rested his hands on both her shoulders.

"Tonks I know this must be difficult for you, being that he is a part of your family, but there's an explanation for everything..." he stopped as she started laughing.

"Explanation for everything," she echoed sounding a little deranged and laughed some more.

"Nymphadora are you all right?" Moody said roughly.

She snorted. "Fine, just fine" she forced herself to calm down. "It's ok, I believe you".

The two wizards did not understand their new their co-workers reaction, but it wasn't one of menace so they took that to mean something good.

"Ok, well the work day will end in an hour, we'll meet you at this address ok Tonks," Moody handed her a piece of parchment that said "12 Grimmauld place", it burst into flames as soon as she had read it.

"See you then," Tonks shut Moody's office door. On her way back to her sector of the department, she could barely contain her emotions. _I'm going to see Sirius, he's safe and after all this time I'm going to see him! He better have a bloody good reason for not contacting me in the last 2 years!_

**Later that evening at Grimmauld Place:**

Tonks had arrived a few minutes later than planned, she had to visit her apartment first, there was something there that she wanted to give Sirius.

When she arrived at his house Kingsley and Moody were both standing at the door talking worriedly about her.

"Maybe we shouldn't have told her about Sirius," said Kingsley in his deep voice.

"How could we not have?" answered Moody roughly. "It would be ridiculous not to warn her, she had a right to know. And don't talk about Padfoot when we're out in the open like this!"

"What if she decides not to come because of it?"

"What do you take me for?" Tonks interrupted them. "I may be clumsy but I'm no coward".

"Where have you been?" Moody almost growled.

"I had to stop at my apartment for a moment, so are we going in or not?"

..................................................................................................................................................................

Sirius and Lupin were in the lounge room discussing a particularly funny memory of theirs when both Kingsley and Moody walked in the room, Ginny was sitting by the fire place reading a book and Fred and George were playing a brutal game of chess on a table nearby. Tonks stayed back by the doorway, she didn't see anyone else but Sirius, she was focused completely on him, during her visits to him at Azkaban, he had become like an older brother to her especially with all the letters they had exchanged back and forth in that five years.

She cried silently as she watched how he he joyfully greeted her two co-workers, he was free. She had never seen him smile the way he was smiling now. He looked so much younger than how he had looked in Azkaban.

Then he saw her.

"Tonks?" he gasped.

They ran towards each other, Tonks tripped and fell into his arms. She closed her eyes as they embraced fully.

"I can't believe it's really you," she sobbed. "You're all right, you're safe".

"Believe it cousin," he hugged her tighter. He had really missed her. For a whole five years she had been his only contact to the outside world.

Tonks pulled away a little to look at her cousin. She touched his face gently.

"It really is you," she laughed.

Meanwhile the three other men were watching this emotional reunion in shock. Kingsley and Moody because they had expected her to be violent and Remus because he couldn't believe that Tonks, the girl who had appeared on his doorstep every holidays for five years straight begging him to listen to her, the girl who was now the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, the one who he had called a "slut" and treated her so unforgivably, was standing there right in front of him.

He had imagined meeting her again over and over in his head, but now it would actually be happening. She hadn't noticed him yet. _Should I leave?_ He hadn't even told Sirius about that night, he was too ashamed.

"Tonks, you remember my best friend Remus Lupin," Sirius had one arm around her shoulder guiding her in Remus' direction and he used the other arm to indicate which man was Remus.

"It's a pleasure to see you again Tonks," Remus said quietly not being able to meet her eyes.

**Hmmm what will Tonks' reaction be? Please, please, please review!!!!!!**


	3. What drink would you like?

Tonks' mouth dropped open in shock. Her eyebrows creased in anger as she recalled the last time she had seen him.

"If only I could say the same," she replied in a dangerously low tone that only he and Sirius could hear.

Lupin didn't know how to respond so he kept silent. Tonks noticed that his cheeks turned to a slightly red shade as he looked down and put his hands in his pockets. _Good, you should feel embarrassed, wanker._

Sirius coughed loudly to break up the awkward situation and shot his old friend a questioning look that said, 'you will be telling me what happened between you and Tonks later'. He put a hand on Tonks' shoulder and gently pulled her away.

"Come on cuz let me get you a drink from the kitchen and we'll catch up a bit before the meeting starts."

Tonks didn't say anything but she let him lead her to the kitchen.

She also didn't say anything as they entered the kitchen. As Sirius rummaged through the refrigerator she crossed her arms and lent against the bench. _I can't believe Remus bloody Lupin is here._

"What would you like? Butterbeer? Tea? Liquorice smoothie? We've got almost everything." His voice became muffled as he stuck his head further into the refrigerator to see what was there. He seemed so different now that she was seeing him properly away from the prison bars of Azkaban.

She smiled, her anger from the moments before began to dissipate.

"I like you like this," she said softly.

"Like what?" he popped his head out quickly.

"Like this. No iron bars, no dementors, y-you just seem s-so..." she began to stutter over her words as the tears formed in her eyes.

"So what?" he asked curiously as he moved to wrap his arms around her in a comforting hug. "Handsome?" he supplied with a cheeky grin.

Tonks giggled as the tears spilled over onto her cheeks.

"N-not quite the word I was looking for," she laughed and playfully pushed him away. "You seem... younger. I can't imagine what that place has done to you".

Her cousin's eyes turned serious but then in a quick moment it was gone.

"Yes well, it wasn't all bad, gave me plenty of time to catch up on my reading."

They both laughed at this. Tonks sensed that this was not the moment to ask him anything about his experience or feelings to having so much of his life robbed from him. But there was one question that was nagging her. As Sirius moved towards the kitchen cupboards to find whatever refreshments he could offer her, she bit her lip and thought about how to bring up this burning question.

"You know Tonks it would help if you let me know what kind of drink you would like!" He was poking his head into one of the cupboard shelves now.

Tonks barely registered what he said and decided upon simply blurting out her question. Well it was more of an impulse than a decision.

"How did you escape from Azkaban? And where did you go?"

That caught Sirius off guard. So much so that he banged his head on the top shelf as he moved to turn around to face her.

"Ow, mother f-I mean, bloody hell Tonks, you want to give me some warning next time you're going to bring up things like..." but he stopped in his tracks as he noticed her hair turn to a dark shade of red. "What? What did I say? I didn't call you by your first name..."

"Two years Sirius, I had no idea what was going on. For all I knew, after you escaped you could have been lying in a ditch somewhere. You should have come to me".

Sirius sighed.

"I couldn't cuz, they knew you had been visiting me in Azkaban, they would have been watching you, it wouldn't have been safe for either of us".

Tonks' hair didn't change colour.

"Well you still should have figured out a way to let me know that you were ok! I was worried sick!"

Sirius laughed which only made her hair turn an even darker red if it was possible.

"Why are you laughing?" she demanded through gritted teeth.

"You look so much like your mum when you are angry, not the hair obviously, but you make the same expression. It reminds me of this time Narcissa and I stole her doll from her and -"

But Tonks cut him off.

"I don't care", she knew that he was trying to change the subject. "You should have let me know you were alright." She folded her arms and glared at him.

"I, ah, I had other things on my mind ..."

Tonks snorted.

"Like what?"

"Besides, I did come to you, you just didn't know that it was me."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she snapped.

Sirius sighed again.

"Ok sit down, I have to show you something and I need you not to panic alright?" Sirius led his little cousin to the nearest chair. As she sat down her hair became a lighter red and she raised an eyebrow waiting for him to show her something that would apparently shed some light on the situation.

"Remember don't panic and please don't scream, come up with a reaction that a little more original ok?"

Tonks just tapped her foot on the floor impatiently and looked at him expectantly.

A wide grin spread across his face and he winked cheekily at her and within second's the two legs he was standing on became four black furry ones. He had transformed from a man into a black dog.

Tonks eyes widened in shock and her hair turned pure white then quickly to a sky blue.

"Oh-my-gosh" she whispered. Sirius wagged his tail.

Tonk slowly reached her hand out to him and gently scratched the back of his ear.

"You were with me weren't you?" she whispered almost inaudibly. For the third time this evening her eyes became watery.

Sirius transformed back into himself and crouched down before her.

"Of course," he replied, "you're the only family I really have".

They sat in silence while Tonks tried to collect herself.

"Besides Harry," she said after a while, "you always said you wanted to see if he looked like James, did you ever see him? I remember reading in the daily prophet that you had broken into Hogwarts, did you actually get to talk to him?"

"Yes" said Sirius. "He's so much like James. It's uncanny. But that's different Tonks , I-I have to be responsible in front of him. He comes to me for advice. I have to pretend to be mature for him, he relies on me. I could never tell him what Azkaban was like. You were the one who came every holiday's to visit me, at that time, you were my light you know? There is nothing I can do to repay you for that."

Tonks smiled sadly.

"I'm so sorry Sirius."

Sirius looked confused. "Sorry? Why? I was just thanking you, you're supposed to say you're welcome or something like 'of course I was there for you Sirius, you're my favourite cousin', either will do".

Tonks giggled but then said, "I'm sorry I was the only one who believed you, I know you had your heart set on Lupin visiting you too, but I couldn't convince him, not once. I'm sure you would have preferred him to talk to then me, a silly little school girl".

"No, like I said, you're my family, and you haven't been a school girl for 2 years little miss successful Auror".

Tonks wiped the tears from her cheeks and smiled.

"I wish you had shown me your animagus self when we were in the visiting rooms in Azkaban, that way I would have known it was you every time you showed up at my apartment this past year.

"Well I couldn't could I? Not with the wizard guards in the visiting rooms, I'm unregistered, remember we went through all this the day I whispered it to you the first time you visited when I told you about Peter".

"Yeah, yeah I remember" answered Tonks, "I just wish I knew it was you. So that's how you escaped huh? In animagus form. Clever. What I don't get is why then? You could have done it so much earlier."

Sirius sighed. "It's a long story".

"I've got time."

"Actually you haven't, the meeting starts in a few minutes. We've got just enough time to get you a drink and then we have to go".

"In that case I'll have a hot chocolate with extra marshmallows, it's my favourite drink and you can tell me everything after the meeting".

Sirius mock glared at her. "A hot chocolate? You know you could have told me this earlier."

Tonks stuck her tongue out at him.

"I'm going to check on Moody and Kingsley, be a dear and bring my drink out to me."

Sirius rolled his eyes and smiled. He felt like he had gained a sister in her, an extremely annoying one but that's how it was supposed to be.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Tonks was smiling as she left the kitchen, her hair had returned to its original bubblegum pink. It did not stay this way for long. As she made her way to the living room she tripped over a ginger cat, she would have fallen to the floor had it not been for the strong pair of arms that grabbed her around waist. Her rescuer's grip was firm but gentle.

"Oh I'm so sorry... thank you.." she began as she turned around to thank whoever it was. Yet she stopped dead in her tracks and her hair was once again red when she saw that it was Remus Lupin.


	4. A Lover's trance

"Are you alri..."

"Get your hands off me" Tonks snarled as she pushed him away. For a brief second she had regretted this because even though she didn't want to admit it, it had felt nice to have his arms around her waist. She was used to tripping over things, but she wasn't used to being caught before she fell.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly. Tonks eyes locked with his. He seemed so sincere yet she did not trust him.

"Nice act, what no name calling? No wandering eyes?" As she said this she zipped her jacket up. A part of her was scared. From what she had seen two years ago he was a big creepy sleaze, what if her smart arse comments only upset him? Would he come after her? She refused to let her fear show; it angered her and made her feel weak. She hated it. Lupin seemed so different to the last time she had seen him. What if there was a logical explanation for his behaviour?_ Sirius trusts him, he is his closest friend_.

Tonks looked at the scar on his face. _Maybe he was a nice guy 12 years ago, but a lot can change in that time._

"Tonks please let me explain."

She rolled her eyes and her next words came out dripping with sarcasm. "No wait don't tell me, you were drunk? And I shouldn't have been wearing what I was wearing right? Don't worry Lupin, the scales have fallen from my eyes and I see that it was really all my fault. How can I ever make it up to you?"

Lupin sighed. He remained silent as he tried to think of what to say that would calm her down.

"I had boyfriend like you once" Tonks said to him, "He can't have children anymore," and with this last comment Tonks whipped around to walk away.

Lupin grabbed her hand gently to stop her.

"Tonks if we could just talk for a while I..."

She glared at his hand on hers and then shifted her eyes slowly to glare up at him. He let her go immediately.

"We're done talking" she said sharply and walked in the direction of the lounge room where she found Moody and Kingsley in deep conversation.

"You are insane to think that she should come with us on the Polyhouse bust in two weeks!" Kingsley whispered angrily.

"This conversation is over Kingsley, we shall talk no more of it!" answered his one normal eyed superior.

"Not talking about me are you?" interrupted Tonks.

"Contrary to what you think Nymphadora not every conversation we have is always about you. Now let's go, the meetings about to start."

She looked at Kingsley for an honest answer. He looked worried and shook his head to indicate that Moody had been lying and that they had been talking about her. She shot him a confused look. But before he could say anything their boss interrupted.

"I can see you, you know? Come on, no time for talking."

Kingsley and Tonks shared one last annoyed look and then filed into the room with the rest of the others. She was a little nervous at meeting so many new people but she was excited as well. At age 16 she had discovered her desire to make a real change in the world, to fight those who sought to hurt people. She had been hurt badly by an older man when she was younger; it was he who had left her the scar across her cheek, the one she hid from everyone. From then she knew she would fight and that she would protect those who needed her so that they would never feel what she had experienced. It felt good know that she was a part of a group who shared her values.

She noticed that many people were stealing glances at her and that their eyes would wander up to her pink hair. She was clearly the youngest member there. When it came to introductions, she was happy to show off her gift, most of the order looked at her in awe when she transformed her face to look like Moody's. Many of them laughed. Mad-eye on the other hand was not impressed.

"That's quite enough Nymphadora." He said her name purposely to get back at her.

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Tonks had immediately transformed back into herself and her hair was red.

"Another thing you should know about our newest member is that she hates her first name and only answers to Tonks. And unless you wish to be confronted by a violent rainbow haired beauty, I suggest you all call by her surname. Trust me, I know from personal experience." Kingsley always tried to keep the peace between his boss and his partner.

Many people of the order smiled and Sirius laughed. Tonks sat down and gave her work friend a grateful look.

"I second that!" she agreed almost happily.

The rest of the meeting went on much in the way as most of them did when she was at work, Tonks found it rather boring but she made sure to take in everything. She amused herself by looking around the room at each person; Sirius noticed her glance and winked. She winked back.

As her eyes set on the next person, she jumped slightly in surprise. Lupin's eyes bore into hers and her heart began to pound in her chest. She felt the blood quickly rise to her cheeks. This reaction didn't come from him looking at her in a dangerous or strange way, he was looking at her in awe as if he was in a trance, as if she was something worth looking at. And for a moment she wanted him to think she was beautiful. She considered changing her hair to a longer, silky red, but in an instant mentally told herself off. She was horrified at herself for caring about her appearance. A long time ago she had vowed to never look the way others wanted her to. _I promised I would never abuse myself like that!_

Neither of them noticed when the meeting had ended. She jumped when Kingsley asked her a question.

"Ah sorry what?"

Her co-worker laughed. "I asked you if you enjoyed your first meeting and I can see obviously that you did. Kingsley smirked and nodded his head towards Lupin.

Tonks' cheeks returned to a bright shade of red. Kingsley continued to chuckle as he walked out of the room. She gave Lupin one last look and left the room.

....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"So what was all that about?" Sirius asked his best friend once everyone had left the meeting room.

"What was all what about?"replied Lupin.

Sirius clucked his tongue in impatience.

"What's going on between you and my little cousin?"

Lupin's head shot up at this. "What do you mean?"

"Well just then you were both trying to stare each other to death. And what was that thing she said to you before? She wasn't happy to see you mate, that's for sure. Is there something going on between you two? Coz you know if there is I think I may have to break out into a speech that starts with me threatening to kill you if you ever hurt her or something".

Remus didn't laugh at his friends teasing.

"Too late" he said quietly and then left the room.

Sirius looked confused and followed his oldest friend into the kitchen. "What?"

Remus looked upset as he poured himself a glass of firewhiskey. "I've already hurt her ok? You should fucking take a swing at me."

Sirius' eye widened at his friends abruptness. He was clearly missing something.

"What do you mean you've already hurt her?"

But Lupin didn't have a chance to answer. They were interrupted by Ginny and Hermione.

"Your brother is totally insane!" said Hermione crossly as she pushed the door open.

"You're preaching to the choir Hermione," came Ginny's voice behind her. "And I don't even know which brother you're talking about".

"Hi Sirius, hi Professor Lupin" Hermione greeted the marauders. "Are we interrupting you?"

"No of course not Hermione" Lupin answered with a kind smile. "I'm just heading up to my room anyway."

Tonks entered the kitchen to find Sirius.

"Are you alright professor? You look a little...unwell."

Lupin's eyes drifted to Tonks and quickly back to Hermione.

"I'm just fine. Hermione, you do know that you can call me Remus don't you?" He smiled at her.

"Sorry professor, I mean Remus." The girls then directed their attention to the young woman with the bright pink hair.

"Hermione, Ginny, meet my little cousin Tonks."

"Hi" said Ginny shyly. Hermione extended her hand.

"You're a metamorphmagus" she said as she shook hands with Tonks.

"I am?" answered Tonks pretending as if she didn't know and was hearing about it for the first time. Then she laughed. "Yes, it can get rather annoying really."

Hermione smiled. "Can I ask you some questions about it later, maybe the next time you come here? I've read about witches and wizards with your gift it sounds wonderfully interesting!"

"Sure" Tonks replied.

Remus couldn't take his eyes off his best friend's cousin.

"Girls can you give us a sec? We won't be long" Tonks wanted to say goodbye to Sirius properly; she was hoping Lupin would take the hint and leave as well.

"Sure" they said in unison and exited the kitchen.

"I should be off as well..." began Lupin and he picked up his glass of firewhiskey.

"No stay Moony it's fine," said Sirius firmly. "What is it cuz? You're not leaving already are you? It's only 9pm."

_Fine I'll do this in front of Lupin; I don't care if he thinks I'm too emotional._

"I'm afraid so, I just wanted to give you this before I left." Both men watched her as she pulled a tiny box out of her pocket and placed it on the floor. She took out her wand and chanted the words that transfigured the small box into a massive trunk.

Sirius gave her a questioning look.

"Open it" she said shyly.

He seemed excited as he walked over to the chest.

"But it's not my birthday for a few months," he said jokingly.

"Shut up smart ass and open it, I don't have all day you know."

She watched him as he opened it. She all of a sudden felt nervous. Would he think her stupid and sentimental? _And I'm doing this in front of Lupin! What's wrong with me?_

"Whoa! CD's?" Sirius gasped. Remus peered into the box and understood why his best friend looked like a boy on Christmas morning, in there was about a thousand different CD's in the trunk.

"They're mainly from the 80's up until this year, most of it is the kind of stuff you would be into but I threw in a few of my favourites too. And there's not just CD's..." Tonks walked over to the chest closed it and opened it again. The CD's were gone and instead lay a mountain of recent books that had been published in the last decade or so. She repeated the action of opening and closing to reveal more and more things such as, newspapers and magazines from the last 15 years, awesome zonko's products, photo albums and various other items that she wanted to share with him.

Sirius stared at her and was unable to say a thing.

"I started collecting them after I heard about your escape, I figured you would come find me and would want to know about everything that you had missed. I wanted to make sure I could tell you properly, or show you whatever".

This time it was Sirius' eyes that filled with tears. And he didn't feel the need to hold them back. He embraced his cousin and held her as tightly as he could. "Thank you" he whispered.

"You're welcome" she smiled and closed her eyes, completely forgetting that they had an audience.

Remus couldn't believe his eyes, not only was she a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. She was also amazingly compassionate and warm. He cursed himself for being a werewolf. He watched them hug and felt a flash of jealousy, he had never had anyone understand him like that, well there were the marauders when he was back in school, but that didn't last. He had felt so alone after James had died and when Sirius had been in prison. That was when he thought Sirius had killed Peter.

"Um Cuz, you're cutting off my air supply," joked Tonks after a while.

"Do you really need it?" Sirius mocked back. Tonks laughed.

"I have to go, can I come back tomorrow after work?"

"Definitely!" said Sirius with a big grin. "We can listen to some of these CD's and Molly will cook a feast, she does every night."

"Can't wait!" Tonks said enthusiastically as she waved goodbye and then left the kitchen.

As she got to the front door of Grimmauld place she heard his voice.

"Tonks wait." She turned around to face Lupin. "Thank you for what you did," he said. "You'll never know how much that means to him, you did what I couldn't, you believe him from the start. I should have listened to you 7 years ago when you came to me."

Tonks was surprised by how genuine words were and how sincere his eyes appeared. He seemed so kind in that moment, but she reminded herself of him calling her a slut. She simply nodded briskly in response and turned around and left.

Lupin watched as she left and promised himself that he was going to convince her that he wasn't the bad guy she thought he was.

**Hey Guys please review! Not sure if I should continue with this story... What do you think of it so far?**


	5. Shot on sight

Later that evening Sirius found Remus in the lounge sitting on an armchair staring miserably into the fire.

Sirius sat in the chair next to him and looked at his old friend.

"You know, I was the one who was in prison for 12 years I should be the one brooding."

Remus didn't say anything. There was silence for a few moments.

"It should have been me."

"What should have been you?"

"It should have been me who went to prison, I'm the werewolf, I'm the one who should be locked up. That way there would be no chance of me hurting anyone." Sirius felt instant anger at hearing this.

"Bull shit!" barked Sirius. "What the fuck is going on with you? Are we back in Hogwarts? Because I thought you'd left all this self pitying shit behind!"

There was silence again. They could both hear the crackling of the fire. Sirius waited for his friend to talk.

"I called her a slut."

"What? Who?"

"Tonks," whispered Remus. "The last time she came to visit me about you. It was at the time of a full moon, just before the transformation and..."

Remus couldn't find the words to explain his shameful actions further.

"And the wolf's mind took over your speech and actions in the transition period," finished Sirius, realisation dawning on him.

"Yes," said Remus almost inaudibly.

"Shit."

"Yes."

Sirius sighed. "You didn't touch her did you?"

"No!" Remus said forcefully. He took a deep breath to calm himself down and he continued to speak quietly, his voice filled with shame. "But I wanted to, I really wanted to."

"No Moony that wasn't you!" said Sirius shaking his head enthusiastically.

"Wasn't it? I mean... even now I can't seem to draw my eyes away from her."

"So what are you saying? You want to rape her?" Lupins head snapped up at this, his eyes wide.

"Of course not!" shouted a horrified Remus.

"Then what?" Sirius was trying to help his friend understand that being attracted to a woman was completely normal, even though he was a werewolf.

"I couldn't stop myself from looking at her today!" he answered in an exasperated tone.

"For fuck's sake Moony, she's grown up well. Even a priest would be forgiven for being attracted to her! And it's not like you want to hurt her. So everything you're thinking is completely normal."

It was silent as Remus processed these words.

"I don't feel normal," he said eventually.

"Well neither do I, but that doesn't mean I act like a dickhead, angst ridden teenager."

Remus allowed himself to smile slightly. He'd forgotten what it was like to have a friend he could talk to. He didn't realise how much he had missed Sirius' blunt honesty.

........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The next day Tonks dropped in to see Sirius again. As Sirius had promised, Molly had cooked them a wonderful dinner. Tonks felt very comfortable with the Weasley family, it was nice to be surrounded by so many people. As an only child she had always wished to have a bigger family. While they were at the table she entertained Hermione, Ginny and the boys, by shape-shifting various parts of her face into different animal features. Her favourite one was an elephant's trunk which she used to squirt water at the twins.

As they ate and talked she made sure to avoid looking at Lupin at all costs. She did not in any way shape or form; want to feel the way she had when they were looking at each other at the meeting the night before.

Remus had the same frame of mind. He was forcing himself not to look at her. It was quite difficult since she was sitting directly opposite him. However he had managed to be successful until the conversation turned to a subject he was extremely familiar with.

"So Tonks, can you transform yourself into anything you like?" asked Hermione.

"Pretty much," the metamorphmagus answered as she popped a piece of roast potato into her mouth.

"What about animals?"

"Yep. But it takes a bit of concentration."

"Really? What about magical creatures, like dragons or werewolves?"

Tonks laughed. "What so I can breathe fire and howl at the moon? I've never really tried. One time when I was eight I attempted growing fairy wings."

"Awesome!" exclaimed Ginny.

"Yes well, I thought so too at the time. But what you should know is that I can't grow any animal traits out of nothing. I was transforming the skin on my back just above my shoulder blades. And when I tried to fly, the wings broke off and the lower half of them fell to the floor.

Hermione gasped.

"It hurt like hell. And as you can imagine, when I transformed back, two huge chunks of my skin were missing from my back, so much so that you could see the bones of my shoulder blades".

"Ew!" said Ginny and she pushed away her dinner plate. "I've officially lost my appetite."

"I'll finish it for you" volunteered Ron and he took Ginny's plate.

"I was rushed to St Mungo's." Tonks looked around to everyone at her half of the table, they were all staring in shock. _Damn, I've freaked them out. "_But as you can see I'm fine now." This didn't lighten the mood, so she said the first thing that came to mind.

"Why would you want to be a werewolf any way Hermione? They should be shot on sight!"

Hermione choked on her drink and Sirius dropped his fork. Hermione stole a glance at Remus. Tonks took a bite at another potato, oblivious to everyone's reactions. Remus shook his head slightly to indicate that Tonks didn't know of his condition and that none of them should tell her.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say that Tonks!" began Hermione rather forcefully. "Some of them are innocent!"

Tonks looked up surprised. "Innocent?" she exclaimed loudly. Tonks felt her anger begin to build. _No stay calm, she's just a child, she couldn't know about what they did to you. She probably just read some stupid nonsense about them in a book somewhere. _

"Hermione, they're brutal creatures." She said firmly but not unkindly. "Have you ever met one?"

"Well I..." Hermione hesitated. "No." She lied, her cheeks were red and she looked rather annoyed. Remus shot her a grateful look.

"Well" sighed Tonks. "When I was fifteen, I met two of them". She stared at her fork as she said this. "Believe me, innocent is not a word to describe them." They all watched as Tonks stabbed a carrot with her fork before eating it.

"What happened?" Ginny asked curiously.

"Well now, that's a story for another time," Tonks looked up and winked at Ginny. She smiled at everyone to hide the awful feeling that had begun to creep up upon her as she remembered her past.

"An interesting one I'm sure," said Sirius. "Moony lets go help Molly with the dessert." Remus stood up immediately. He was only too happy to leave the room.

"Why does he call him Moony?" Tonks asked the girls.

"Um...it's just some nickname. We're not sure why," Ginny lied.

"Hmmm, I'll have to ask Sirius later." Tonks didn't really pick up on the fact that the atmosphere had changed a little. Ginny, Hermione and Ron had heard what she had said about werewolves and had understood that she had her view of them for a certain reason. But they still had the desire to defend their ex-professor.

"Professor Lupin is great," blurted out Ron, which surprised Tonks a little.

"Yeah," chimed in Ginny. "He was the best teacher when he came to Hogwarts!"

"Oh really?" Tonks went along with the conversation. She was surprised to hear that Lupin had been a teacher and a good one. _I wonder how he convinced Dumbledore he was a good person. _"What did he teach you?"

"Defence against the Dark Arts," answered Hermione. "He was wonderful, not only was he intelligent, but he knew how to share what he knew. He made it interesting so that everyone was excited to learn."

Tonks was surprised at this glowing report of Lupin.

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Meanwhile Sirius and Remus were standing out on the back terrace with Buckbeak.

"Don't start Moony ok? You know that none of that shit applies to you, if you're going to start being a sooky bitch, I'm going to have to beat the crap out of you!"

Remus smiled at his friend's enthusiasm but didn't say anything.

"She's obviously had a bad experience, you should just tell her, that way she would understand the way you treated her 2 years ago".

Remus laughed in a mocking way. "And what? Risk getting shot on sight?"

Sirius sighed.

"I'd rather not thank you."

"You're a git," Sirius said simply and he left his friend to his thoughts while he helped Molly bring the jelly and ice-cream out to the table.

Tonks noticed when Lupin didn't come back, but she didn't say anything. The night went on and he still didn't appear even a few hours later when she left.

Sirius understood that he needed to be left alone. As he walked upstairs to his room he reminded himself to ask Tonks about her experience with those two werewolves when she was younger. He would ask her tomorrow. To Sirius' delight she had promised to come back again.

**I solemnly swear to update after 5 reviews.**


	6. The beginning of a friendship

**Wow guys, 9 reviews! Thanks! I was going to do my homework but as promised here's another chapter. Seems like I'm going to have to raise the bar if I'm ever going to get any homework done. I solemnly swear to update after 10 reviews!**

Tonks was happy to have somewhere to go after work, she hadn't let herself get close to many people in the last few years but things were starting to change. She felt an instant connection to Sirius and it was nice to be surrounded by people again. She had finished an hour early so it was still light when she got there. The house was oddly quiet.

"Hello? Sirius? Are you there?" On her way through the hallway she tripped over the troll leg umbrella stand and fell to the floor, the umbrella stand made a loud crashing sound as it hit the floor. And before she knew it there was a blood-curdling screech from the portrait above.

"Flithly blood traitor! Freak! Get out of my house! Betrayer! - "

After hearing the noise Remus ran in from another room. The portrait of Mrs. Black gasped and began shouting again.

"You disgusting creature, leave my house at once! You do not deserve to live! Your very breath contaminates this place, be gone from the house of my fathers – "

He closed the moth-eaten curtains and the piercing scream was no more. He extended his hand to Tonks and she took it gratefully. Once she was standing upright she realised she was holding Lupin's hand, she felt a jolt of excitement and let go immediately.

"That was -" Remus began to explain.

"My cousin's dear mother," she cut him off. "Yes I know, Sirius told me about her in his letters."

Remus nodded and put his hands in his pockets. They remained in awkward silence until Tonks asked where everybody was.

"Molly's taken the kids to Diagon Alley for a little holiday break, they should be back before dark. Sirius is upstairs sleeping."

"At four in the afternoon?" asked Tonks. Remus looked a little sad.

"Yes well, he's not feeling too well these days, being cooped up in this house. There aren't exactly any good memories here. He's..." Remus struggled to find the words.

"Depressed," stated Tonks. She understood. How could he not be with everything that has happened?

"He likes it when you're here though, obviously," said Remus awkwardly.

Neither of them knew what to say. Tonks realised that she was pretty much alone with Lupin and she started to feel a little worried. _No, I'm an auror, if he tries anything, I can handle it, just like I did last time._

"Uh, can I get you something to drink?" offered Lupin.

"Sure."

As they walked to the kitchen Remus wondered why she wasn't snapping at him. Tonks was sussing him out, trying to read his body language. She was looking for the signs of whether he was leading her in to a false sense of security so that he could then pounce on her. She had known someone like that in her past, her ex-boyfriend in fact. But Lupin seemed rather tame, in fact he seemed like he was paying extra attention to be gentle. He made sure to keep a safe distance from her and placed her hot chocolate on the bench so that she could pick it up. That way their hands wouldn't have to meet. He didn't want to her to think he was trying to find a way to touch her.

She thought about how the kids had said such wonderful things about him last night. That counted for a lot in her book. Then her mind moved to the night he had been nasty to her. _Maybe he acted that way because he was hurt. At the time he did think that Sirius was a murderer. And I was bringing up all these past memories that were extremely painful. Maybe he was so desperate for me to leave because it hurt him so much, so he thought acting that way would make me go. It did work. I would probably act the same way if some random person came to me and tried to tell me that Fenrir Greyback was innocent.I would probably hit them if they tried to tell me that what he did to me and my friends was a misunderstanding._ She shuddered as she remembered Greyback's piercing eyes and brutal touch. Then she looked at Remus. He was looking down lost in thought as he stirred the coffee he had made for himself. He looked so sad.

"Look Lupin – "

"I'm so sorry –" They both began in unison.

"Oh sorry, you first" said Tonks quickly. And while motioning for him to continue she knocked over her drink spilling the hot liquid all over the bench. Remus turned around to look for a cloth.

"I got it," said Tonks and she pulled out a bunch of clean tissues from her pocket. "I always come prepared," she smiled.

Remus was very surprised that she was acting friendly. He had just decided that he was going to tell her the truth about that night. About how his mind was under the influence of the wolf in him. He knew that she was going to be shocked and would probably struggle even more being around him, but he didn't care. He felt trapped and telling the truth was the only way out of it. He watched her mop up the milk with her tissues.

"Nymphadora," he began. She looked up, her eyebrows creased. She didn't tell him off because he had said her name softly and he was looking nervous.

"About that night you came to my house..." he was struggling to find the words. He had her full attention now. "I was under the influence of.." He sighed. He couldn't bring himself to say it, he looked down trying desperately to think of what to say next.

"Of alcohol?" she supplied. "You had been drinking?"

Lupin's head shot up. _That's perfect, why hadn't I thought of that? _

"Yes!" he said quickly. "And it had been a particularly bad week –" he started rambling. _She's actually listening to me._

"And then I came along and started talking about your most painful memories and you just did what you thought would make me leave" she finished for him.

"Yes," he agreed. She seemed to be nodding as if she understood and he was beginning to think that he wouldn't have to tell her the truth.

"I-I suppose I understand" she sighed.

"Really?" he couldn't believe how easy this was going.

"Yeah, I mean, I reckon I would have acted the same way." They were silent for a few moments as they processed what had just happened between them. Were they coming to a truce?

"But you still don't trust me? You still think I could hurt you?" he asked the last question very quietly.

She looked into his eyes. In that moment he seemed so fragile, as if her answer would devastate him if it was "yes".

"No, I believe you. And I trust Sirius' opinion of you" she added. "And the kids – they really love you, you know?"

Remus sighed in relief, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He then looked directly at her and slowly walked towards her until there was very little space between them. He bent down and kneeled on both knees. Tonks' eyes widened in surprised as he did this. He looked up at her, took her right hand between both of his, which was still a little wet and sticky from the warm milk.

"That night you said to me, that if I ever saw you again I should be on my knees begging you for forgiveness". Tonks couldn't believe what was happening, she certainly never expected something like this. "Well Nymphadora, here I am before you. I am so terribly sorry for the beastly manner in which I treated you. I can never forgive myself and I know that there is nothing I can do to make up for it, but I can promise to spend the rest of the time that I know you, making up for it, I will prove to you that I can be a good person if you give me the chance, please say that you forgive me." He seemed so sincere and so ashamed of himself. Tonks even felt her eyes fill with tears she was so moved. She had never met a man like this.

"I- of course I forgive you R-Remus," she stuttered. It didn't go unnoticed that she had called him by his first name. She helped him up and they smiled shyly at each other.

"How about we start over?" said Tonks happily, she seemed a little short of breath. She extended her hand to him. "Hi I'm Tonks." Lupin chuckled.

"Pleasure to meet you Tonks, I'm Remus Lupin, so tell me, is Tonks your first name?" he teased. She mock glared at him but still played along.

"My first name is Nymphadora because my mother is insane, but if you ever want to have children you won't use it!"

"I don't _Nymphadora_," he emphasised her name as he teased her. "Besides, I rather like it."

She playfully punched him. "Well you must be drinking the same loopy potion that she was on at the time."

He smiled. They were interrupted as Sirius entered the kitchen.

"Wotcher Sirius," Tonks greeted her cousin.

"Oi, what's going on here?" he greeted his cousin with a kiss on the cheek.

"Just getting a new drink," Tonks said as she moved to make herself another hot chocolate. While she was looking for the Marshmallows she decided to try a new colour and she changed her hair to a violent violet.

The three of them spent the next hour laughing and joking together. Remus and Tonks took every chance they had to steal glances at each other when the other wasn't watching. Once the sun had set and the evening had come the atmosphere changed.

Arthur Weasley burst through the door waking Mrs Black up in his hurriedness.

"Shut up!" bellowed Sirius to the portrait as he covered it up.

Arthur spoke quickly. "Two dementors were just sent to Harry's house!" Sirius looked alarmed.

"He fought them off Sirius, he's ok. He's safe at his aunt's house, he has magical protection, I just sent him a letter telling him not to leave, the Ministry has expelled him, but Dumbledore is sorting it out. Let's set up a meeting for the Order to come so we can figure out our plan to retrieve him. Dumbledore wants it set for tomorrow. I have to get back to work. I'm working the late shift. Is Molly back with the kids yet?

"No not yet Arthur," answered Remus. Sirius wasn't talking he looked about ready to kill something. Arthur looked worried.

"I'll go get them Arthur," volunteered Tonks. "They'll be back before you know it and I'll get Molly to owl you when she's back. And of course we'll remember to save you some dinner, I think I remember her saying something about a pumpkin pie last night?" Tonks smiled, she was trying to lighten the mood.

Arthur smiled back. "Thank you Tonks."

"I'll go with you," said Remus firmly. Tonks had no objections.

As they approached the door to leave. Sirius called out to them.

"I'll just wait here then shall I? Hold down the fort?"

Remus watched as the violet haired beauty ran up to Sirius and pulled him into a quick hug. "Don't sulk, and don't worry about Harry, I'll bring you back some delicious homemade ice-cream from Florean's if you're good!" she smiled and nudged him playfully.

"Fine," he answered a slight smile on his lips. "Make it chocolate, no, make it cookies and cream, no, chocolate with Hazel nuts!"

"Yeah, yeah" said Tonks as she and Remus buttoned up their coats.

"Don't forget the hazel nuts!" Sirius shouted as they shut the door.

**I solemnly swear I will update after 10 reviews (and don't worry you will soon find out about the werewolves in Tonks' past).**


	7. We all have scars

**Wow thanks for the reviews guys! Didn't get heaps of homework done, but did more than when I was writing a chapter day. I hope you like this chapter!**

Tonks, Remus, Mrs. Weasley and the kids, all returned to Grimmauld place within the hour. They found Sirius at the door waiting for them. As Tonks handed him his tub of ice-cream she noticed that he was looking anxious.

"What are you worried about? I remembered the hazel nuts," she joked. Sirius ignored her and spoke to Ron and Hermione.

"Hedwig just arrived; I got a letter from Harry. She also left two letters in your rooms."

Ron and Hermione exchanged worried glances and simply ran upstairs without a word.

"What does it say?" asked Remus.

"He wants to know what's going on and when he can leave his Aunt's house." Sirius sighed. "That's it I'm writing him a reply!" And he turned to walk towards the study.

Molly, Remus and Tonks all spoke at once.

"No Sirius! Dumbledore gave us strict orders –"

"Cuz, do you really think that's a good idea –"

"Padfoot just wait until the meeting tomorrow -"

Sirius whipped around.

"This has gone on long enough! Harry needs to know what's going on!"

"And he will!" said Remus soothingly, "but think about it Sirius, as we've discussed in our meetings, it's very possible that he's being watched. The last thing you want to do is send an owl that details everything about the Order and that we will be retrieving him. If the Death Eaters found out you would be endangering Harry further. Just wait a little longer."

"It's just, the dementors..." began Sirius.

"We know cuz, we're all worried about it," said Tonks.

"He must be so confused and so angry."

"You'll be able to explain when he's here," said Molly comfortingly. "Come now let's have some nice dinner." She led him to the dining room in a motherly fashion.

Tonks and Remus shared a look of relief before they followed.

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That evening Dumbledore had sent secret messages about the next nights meeting to all those in the Order of the Phoenix. Tonks had wanted to be on time however she had managed to create a minor delay at the ministry. On her way out of her small office she had tripped over her feet and had fallen flat on the floor, a co-worker coming to collect paperwork, had then tripped over her body and smashed his head against her desk. There was what turned out to be a minor injury, a bit of blood loss and a rush to the first aid section of the Ministry.

When Tonks finally made it out of the office and into Grimmauld place she said a quick hello to the kids who were up on the landing looking rather mischievous. She made a note to figure out what they were doing after the meeting. When she got to the meeting room door she stopped and took a deep breath. It is always slightly nerve wracking to walk into a meeting full of people when you are late, but she was sure it would be fine. She placed her hand on the door knob and opened it.

As soon as she did this she heard a loud whistling noise. In an instant all members of the order where standing up with their wands drawn and pointed at her. As an automatic reaction she put both hands in the air in surrender and her hair had turned shock white. When she saw a glass spinning top in the middle of the table she understood where the noise was coming from.

In her mind she cursed the inventor of the sneakoscope.

"Who are you?" shouted Mad Eye roughly.

"Calm down Moody" said Kingsley. "This does not mean that she is an imposter." The Auror defended his partner though his wand was still pointing at her along with about twenty others.

"Of course I'm not an imposter and I would appreciate it if you would all lower your wands" said Tonks angrily. She sought out Remus and Sirius' eyes and glared at them for not trusting her.

"Well Miss Nymphadora," Snape drawled. "Clearly there is something you're not telling us. Kingsley suggested that we have a sneakoscope in our meeting just to be sure that all the members could be trusted. Apparently it was a very good idea."

"You can trust me!" shouted an annoyed Tonks as her hair changed to a deep red.

"Then why is the sneakoscope going off?" asked Emmeline Vance not unkindly.

"Because I'm lying about my appearance." answered the metamorphmagus quietly between gritted teeth. _Oh Gods they're going to ask to see the truth._

"Rubbish!" shouted Moody. "The changes in hair colour are natural for a metamorphmagus; there is no trickery for the sneakoscope to detect! Tell us the truth! Who are you?"

The sneakoscope continued to whistle.

"My name is Nymphadora Tonks" she began hurriedly, "I hate my first name, my mother Andromeda gave it to me," Tonks looked at Sirius. "I believed you were innocent before anyone else. In the middle of last year, you as a stray dog followed me on my date with Daniel Nisbet. He had orange hair. When he tried to go further than just kissing me goodnight when I didn't like it, you came to my defence and growled and snarled and barked at him until he left my front door. You then came inside and slept at the foot of my bed for a few days. I didn't know it was you at the time."

Sirius lowered his wand. "That's her Moody, it has to be." Remus, Molly and Arthur and a few others lowered their wands.

The sneakoscope continued to whistle.

"I am yet to be convinced" said Snape and he raised his wand higher.

Tonks snapped around and glared at Snape.

"In my fifth year, I spilt a laughter potion in class which hit both you and Shaun Bucket. It was the first and only time I have seen you laugh, or even seen a smile on that pointy nosed face of yours!"

Snape looked livid. "Any number of students would have heard about that story, as I said, I remain unconvinced." The metamorphmagus ignored her ex-professor and turned to her co-workers.

"Mad Eye, Kingsley, the first time you both met me, I-I was in a rundown building in Knockturn alley." She couldn't help but stutter as she remembered this awful event in her life. "I-I didn't look like this." Tonks looked desperately to her partner and mentor. She knew that in referring to this secret that they shared, they would know it was her. They had never spoken of the way they had met, it had been an unspoken rule for 5 years that they were to pretend it never happened.

Kingsley lowered his wand immediately, and then glanced at his boss.

"Moody, come on that's her. No one else could know that but her!" he said firmly.

The sneakoscope continued to whistle.

"There are ways of finding these things out Shacklebolt, one can't be too careful." He looked into Tonks' eyes.

"If that is really you Nymphadora, just make the sneakoscope stop, we have pressing matters to get back to."

They all watched as Tonk' hair changed to a dark blue. Remus noticed that she swallowed nervously. He watched her hand shake as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. _Oh Gods, she's terrified!_

"We all have secrets Moody, if both Sirius and Kingsley say that it is her, we should trust them and get on with things as you said." Remus came to her defence. He hated seeing her this way.

"Lupin you would think that you of all people would know that trusting even your friends in times like these is dangerous," Snape said coldly.

"Tonks, I think it may be best for you to tell us what is going on" said Arthur gently. "We can only be a strong group if we trust one another".

Tonks looked around the room at all the members, they were all watching her. She felt sick. _I have to show them_._ What will they think of me? I don't want them to see me like this. I don't want 'him' to see me like this. What if they think I'm weak?_

"Please Tonks?" Molly pleaded gently.

She surveyed the room again; she knew by the expression on everyone's face that she didn't really have a choice.

"Ok" she said weakly as she felt the tears form in her eyes. She could already feel the humiliation creep up on her as she imagined their reactions. There was no escaping it. She looked down not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. She took a deep breath. And then she transformed.

As the major scar across her left cheek appeared, Hestia Jones and Molly gasped. A sound that was heard loud and clear because the sneakoscope had stopped. Then several others gasped as her next scars appeared. Tonks had wished that she had worn pants today instead of a skirt.

"This is what I really look like," she whispered as a tear ran down her cheek. She pointed to her left cheek, then to both her wrists where there was a tattoo upon each. And then finally with some hesitation she raised her skirt slightly for all to see the five major scars that Fenrir Greyback's claws had left on her left leg. It was obvious from the marks that a beastly creature had grabbed her upper thigh and then had dug its five claws in deeply, only to run them all the way down to just above her knee.

"Oh Tonks, what happened to you?" cried Molly, with tears of shock and terror in her own eyes.

Remus felt a rush of rage as he saw Tonk' appearance. It was werewolves, he was sure of it. He wanted to kill whoever did this to her. _Must have been those two werewolves she had talked about._

Tonks was usually accustomed to people staring at her because of her appearance, but not like this. She felt as if she were on display. She wanted to shout at them to stop looking at her. _They think I'm a freak! Maybe I am a freak!_

Snape saw Mad Eye reach for the sneakoscope.

"Of course Miss Nymphadora" began Snape, "You will understand that we cannot stop having the sneakoscope in our meetings, there are safety reasons. You will have to reveal your true self each time because –"

Snape was cut off by the sound of glass being smashed into a hundred pieces. Moody had just broken the sneakoscope with his prosthetic leg.

"Whoops" he said, looking Snape firmly in the eye. A look which meant, 'leave her alone or you will end up like this sneakoscope'.

He then sat back down and pretended like none of this had happened.

"Now who wants to come collect Harry?"

Kingsley caught on quickly. "I should like to" he volunteered. Tonks smiled and felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude towards them. They cared about her. She transformed back to the smooth skinned violet haired young woman they had been used to seeing. _Focus, don't let your hair colour change. Just make it through this meeting. Don't cry, don't think about anything but Harry and the plan._

"Well I'm dying to know what he looks like," she said, her voice still weak.

The rest of the Order members did their best to pretend that everything was normal and that they weren't in a state of shock. The meeting ended once they had decided how and when to retrieve the boy who lived. Remus struggled to get through the meeting. He did all he could to resist from reaching out to Tonks pulling her into his arms and asking if she was alright. He couldn't stop himself from imagining a werewolf digging his sharp claws into her thigh. He also couldn't seem to tear his mind away from where the scars were. The attack must have been intimate. His mind got the better of him and he wondered how else she had been hurt. He understood why Nymphadora had said that werewolves should be shot on sight. Now more than ever he hated that he was a werewolf. He hated that there was such a thing as werewolves!

Tonks left quickly without a word once the meeting was over. Kingsley, Mad Eye, Sirius and Molly all tried to follow her but she practically ran to the front door and was gone before they could say anything.

In her haste to get away from Grimmauld place, she fell down the stairs outside and grazed her knees. She began to cry as she picked herself up. She had never felt so humiliated or exposed.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Meanwhile at Grimmauld place. Remus was rushing to put his coat on.

"I'm going after her," he told Sirius. Sirius opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted. "And before you say that you're coming too, remember that endangering yourself means that you won't be able to protect harry when he comes." Sirius closed his mouth and sighed.

"Make sure she's alright."

"I will." Remus promised.

**I solemnly swear to update after ten reviews.**


	8. A drink after work

**Wow guys that was quick! I may have to change the rules soon.**

Remus had arrived at Tonks' apartment door mere minutes after she had. That was the beauty of being able to apparate. He took a deep breath and hesitated before he knocked on her door. He was scared of how she would react. Would she slam the door in his face? Think that he was intruding? Or would she want him there? He wondered if this is the way she had felt all those times she had come knocking on his door about Sirius.

He knocked loudly and clearly 3 times. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

"Who is it?" came Tonks' muffled voice.

"It's me, it's Remus," he croaked. Tonks opened the door but only slightly, just enough for him to see her face.

"Look Remus, I'm really not up for company tonight, I'll see you when we go to pick up Harry in a couple of days ok?"

He wasn't going to let her be by herself tonight. He was going to force his way through the door if he had to. She had done the same thing with him a few times before.

"You're not the only one with scars Nymphadora," he said firmly. They stared into each other's eyes for a while. Then he saw her gaze shift towards the scars on his face. She didn't say anything, but she did open the door.

The apartment was small and cosy, it looked very different from how he had imagined it. She noticed his confused expression as he glanced around the lounge room and then the kitchen towards the back.

"Not what you were expecting?" she asked with a small smile.

"Not really," he smiled back. _Ok she's talking to me and smiling. That's a good thing. _

"Let me guess, you were thinking that each wall would be a different colour?"

"Kind of," he grinned sheepishly.

"I love how everyone thinks I'm so predictable."

Remus looked at her with a serious expression on his face. "There's nothing predictable about you Nymphadora, you are utterly unique, in the best sense of the word."

He saw her swallow nervously. She knew he was going to bring the conversation towards the events of that night.

"Don't call me Nymphadora Remus, or I'm going to have to come up with a horrible name for you!" she kept her tone light. "Would you like something to drink or eat?" she asked quickly. "I made a nice pasta yesterday..." she began to ramble as she moved towards the kitchen area. Remus knew that she was trying to make sure that he didn't have a chance to speak.

"It must be exhausting." he cut in. She looked up at him questioningly.

"To hide who you are every single day."

Tonks closed her eyes and sighed slightly angrily.

"I'm not doing this with you Remus, so you can either tell me something you would like to drink or you can go." She pointed towards the door.

He ignored her.

"The thing is," he began slowly as he walked towards her, "you look beautiful just as you are." He whispered this last part as he stopped in front of her. She didn't move away and he saw her eyes fill with tears. As one spilled over she looked away only to have his right hand cup her cheek gently to move it back so that she was looking at him.

"Please don't Remus," she whispered weakly. He wiped the tear away with his thumb and looked deep into her eyes.

"Show me?" he asked gently as he moved his thumb delicately across her skin where her scar should have been. He was acting as if he were in a trance and for some reason she couldn't refuse him. As her scar appeared she felt him trace it back and forth with his thumb. His touch was so light and so respectful. She looked down as he did this, she felt naked and exposed and yet she somehow knew that he would never hurt her.

He gently moved her chin up and she saw him moved closer as if he was going to kiss her. She suddenly felt alarmed and stumbled backwards. He caught her quickly with skilled reflexes and he pulled her back towards him.

"It's not that kind of a kiss," he said softly as he moved forward to press his lips to her forehead.

No man had ever been so kind to her. She felt herself give in and her body began to shake as her crying became uncontrollable. Remus crushed her to him and she buried her head into his shoulder as she let go and let the tears come. He held her tightly whispering comforting things in her ear.

Eventually Tonks fell silent, but neither of them moved away. The work shirt she was wearing had risen up slightly and Remus' hand had managed to settle underneath it just above her waist on her bare skin. His thumb grazed her skin softly up and down while his other arm had wrapped around her so that his fingers ended up at the base of her neck. He played with the soft strands of her hair gently as he rocked her back and forth.

After a while she pulled away from him. Her eyes were red and puffy but she seemed less unhappy then she had been before. Remus expected her to tell him that it was time for him to leave since she had work the next day, but she didn't. Instead she surprised him by placing a hand on his shoulder to steady herself. She then slowly lifted her other hand to trace the scars upon his face with her fingers. He resisted the urge to close his eyes and enjoy the sensation that her touch brought him and instead watched the expressions of her face change as she continued her curious examination.

"How did you get these?" she asked quietly.

"It's a long story." He answered softly. _One which I will not be telling any time soon._

"Those are the best kind" she smiled slightly as she rubbed her eyes tiredly.

"Indeed," he replied. He mentally shuddered as he thought of her reaction to him telling her that he had done it to himself during his transformations. "But not for tonight, you are tired and I shall not keep you longer." He thought he had seen a flicker of disappointment in her eyes as he said this, but he reached for hand and took it in both of his and kissed it gently.

"Goodnight Nymphadora," he smiled and then turned to leave.

"Goodnight Remus," she answered softly.

And as she fell asleep that night she thought of him and only him.

..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The next day while she was filling in some long overdue paperwork for a recent case, Kingsley came up and sat on her desk facing her. She looked up and saw the concern in his eyes.

"Look before you say anything," she sighed, "could you just not say anything?" Kingsley smiled.

"About what?" he asked and then he winked.

"I have no idea," Tonks replied and they shared a smile. There's a meeting going on in about an hour in sector 4, Moody wants you to be there."

Tonks looked confused. "What's it about?"

"A new case," he answered and looked away suspiciously. "I have to go, lots to do, see you in an hour." And before she could answer, he was gone. _Ok, that was weird._

An hour later Tonks understood why Kingsley had been acting so strangely. The meeting was about a case he, Moody and a few others had been working on. And in a week she was to join them on it. She had felt uncontrollable rage as Moody had explained how two undercover agents had infiltrated the place of criminal activity and that in a week they would all bust it wide open. She wanted to go there now, but she knew that if she went alone, she would probably be unsuccessful and that the innocent girls she wanted to protect would be hurt.

After work she headed to a local bar, she decided that she didn't want to see Sirius or Remus. She needed to get her thoughts in order. As she sat at the bar and ordered herself an alcoholic drink her thoughts wondered to her past.

_FLASHBACK:_

"_You do what I fucking tell you to do you whore!" said a beautiful man as he slapped her across the face, his sharp ring cutting her cheek deeply. She felt her tears mix with the blood as they ran down her face and came off at her chin in little droplets that hit the floor._

"_I-I'm sorry," she cried._

_END OF FLASHBACK._

She was pulled out of her reverie as the bar tender handed her, her drink.

"To your health," she said to the bar tender who simply rolled his eyes as she drained the whole glass of it's contents.

"Another one please," she asked.

The night continued like this until finally the bar tender told her that he was making her a coffee instead and that she should call a friend to take her home.

"That's ok," she had hiccupped. "I can make it by myself!" She then fell off her chair onto the floor accidently dropping the glass in her hand.

"Woah... that was awesome." She was sitting on the ground awkwardly looking up at the chair she had been sitting on in wonder. She then looked around and saw her glass smashed into pieces.

"Oh no! It broke!" she looked up at the bar tender with wide eyes and began to cry. "It was my favourite glass."

"Ok that's it, give me a name of one of your friends or family members I'm owling them to pick you up." The bar tender walked over and helped her up unto the chair. "Stay," he commanded. Then walked behind the bar and pulled out an owl directory.

"Sirius!" said Tonks happily, "He'll come and pick me up!"

"Ok," said the bar tender. "Does this Sirius have a surname?" Tonks giggled and looked at the bar tender as if he was an idiot.

"Duh, Black, Sirius Black, do I have to spell out everything for you?" Tonks was shaking her head.

"She's a nutter this one," the bar tender muttered to himself.

"I really think he should cut his hair. It's too long. You remind me of him you know, you know with, with the hair?"

The bar man ran his hand over his bald head and chuckled to himself as he reached over the counter to take her bag. He opened her purse and read her ID card.

"Ok Nymphadora Tonks - "

"Don't call me Tonks!" she shouted.

"Ok Nymphadora - "

"No, no, no, no!"

The bar tender sighed.

"What's your best friend's name?" He needed someone to owl, anyone to get her home."

"Anna Swan."

"Anna Swan, ok Anna Swan," the bar tender muttered as he flipped the pages of the directory.

"Oh you won't find her in there," Tonks said a matter of factly. "She died." The bar tender's eyes snapped up.

"Kingsley," said Tonks. "Shacklebolt. He's my partner, I don't want Remus to see me like this."

The bar tender had no idea what she was talking about, but she had given him a name which he was able to locate in the directory. He promptly sent an owl to Shacklebolt, who arrived in less than 20 minutes to pick his partner up.

"Kingsley!!!!!" she shouted excitedly when he got there and jumped off her chair only to trip over.

Kingsley caught her before she fell.

"Come on Tonks it's time to go home," he said firmly but not unkindly as he gathered up her things. He then grabbed her hand and took Tonks home by side-along apparition. When they arrived at the door of her apartment she vomited on her stairs.

"Oh that's not a nice colour," she said in a sickly voice with one hand on her stomach.

"No," answered Kingsley as he pulled his wand out and said the incantation that produced enough water to wash it all away.

He then located the keys in her bag, helped her through the door and led her to the bed. He then helped her take her shoes off and then tucked her in and sat on the side of the bed. She looked at him sleepily not saying anything.

"'This is about the Polyhouse bust next week isn't it?" he said gently. "I asked Moody not to tell you. But he said it was the whole reason you became an Auror, which is true. But I don't know if you're ready for something like that."

He heard Tonks snoring and smiled. He pulled out a potion he had made at home for the hangover and placed it on her nightstand.

"Goodnight Tonks," he whispered and apparated back home.

**I know you won't be able to understand a few things, but in the next few chapters you will. I hope you like it. I solemnly swear to update in 10 reviews!**

**P.S. I stole the hair joke from the first episode of Angel Season one.**


	9. To fall and be caught

**Hey guys, so quick again, I'm going to have to raise the bar; I need to get some school stuff done!**

**By the way I realised I forgot to reference two quotes from the previous chapter.**

"**It's not that kind of a kiss" is from 'Schindler's list' and**

"**Before you say anything, could you just not say anything?" is from '27 dresses'.**

**Also, I reread this story and realised that in the first chapter I said Tonks was from Gryffindor when really she's from Hufflepuff! Don't know what I was thinking! So I apologise.**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy! :)**

The next day Tonks woke up with a deep hatred for herself. She couldn't believe that she had let herself lose control. If Mad Eye had known about her blurting out Sirius' name in the middle of a crowded pub, she would have gotten a serious slap across the wrist, not to mention the fact that she had been drinking alone. Anyone could have taken advantage of her. Thank goodness for Kingsley!

When she arrived at work, she saw him working hard at his desk. She went up to him and floated a brown paper bag in front of his face.

"Mmm smells good," he said in his deep voice, "What's this?"

"My thank you for last night."

He opened the bag. "Ham, cheese and tomato grilled sandwich and a blueberry muffin?"

"And this" said Tonks as she pulled out a mocha latte from her purse which she had jinxed not to spill. "I know you're always here earlier than everyone else and that you hardly ever have a chance to have a good breakfast. You probably just had an apple and that's it."

Kingsley laughed. "A peach actually," he said as he took the food and coffee, but then his face became serious. "So you're ok?"

"Of course," replied Tonks and they shared a smile. "Got to go, busy, busy." Kingsley nodded and took a bite of his sandwich.

On her way back to her desk Mad Eye pulled her into his office.

"We received a reply from that letter that you wrote to a certain person's family, so things are all in order for the next step." Moody kept winking at Tonks while his magical eye spun around in its socket.

Tonks had to resist the urge to laugh at Moody's paranoia. He could have simply said that Harry's guardians had fallen for the muggle letter she had written to them about a fake All-England Best Kept Suburban Lawn Competition and that they had the all clear to pick Harry up that night. She really doubted that anyone could be listening.

"That's great!" she replied and smiled, as she turned to leave, Moody opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Tonks saw this and watched the expressions on his face change.

"Is there something else?" she asked curiously. Moody seemed to be looking very awkward, like he wanted to say something but couldn't find the words.

"I-this thing, next week. If you have a lot of, ahem, paperwork, I could always ask another agent to do it." He was looking anywhere but at her. Tonks smiled, this was not like Moody, he would usually give the orders about who was doing what and that was the end of it. This was as close as Moody could get to expressing his care for her.

"No I should be fine, I want to come, I think I must," she smiled.

Moody nodded. Tonks didn't leave which made him look at her, his eyebrows wrinkled when he noticed that she was smirking.

"Go on get out of here, don't you have a lot of work to do?"

"Yes sir!" Tonks laughed as she left his office.

...........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Tonks felt a little nervous going to headquarters that evening while they prepared to collect Harry. She hadn't seen Remus since he had held her while she cried like a blubbering idiot and she was highly embarrassed. She also hadn't seen the rest of the order besides Kingsley and Mad Eye.

Though, when Tonks arrived she had a pleasant surprise. When she entered the lounge room Molly practically jumped on her.

"Tonks dear, come and meet my son, Bill, Bill get over here he just arrived yesterday," Molly was twitching her head in Tonks' direction at her eldest son.

Bill disengaged himself from the conversation he had been having with Remus and Arthur as Tonks moved towards him. Sirius was upstairs away from everyone because he was upset that it was too dangerous for him to come pick up his own God son.

"Bill this is Tonks, she's another member of the order, she's a metamorphmagus, tell him dear he's very interested." Molly was clearly very enthusiastic about them getting along well. Unbeknownst to her that was not going to be a problem. As Molly turned to Tonks to tell her that Bill had been living in Egypt for the last few years, Tonks saw Bill put his finger to his lips and wink at her. She knew she had to resist the urge to jump on him with a great hug, and go with whatever cheeky joke he was planning.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Tonks," said Bill as he held out his hand. No one notice Remus' frown.

"Oh and for me too," she smiled widely. _Oh so we're pretending to not know each other._

"Remus, Arthur there was something I wanted to discuss with you," Molly began. She was trying to leave Tonks and Bill alone to get to know each other.

"So Bill what do you do?" Tonks made a show of pretending to get to know him.

"Oh I'm unemployed at the moment, I was fired because I slept with my bosses wife" said Bill as he winked.

"What?" screeched Molly, but they ignored her. Arthurs back stiffened.

"Oh really, well that's ok Bill, we all have our flaws, I mean I'm bisexual and I'm currently with a woman, but you know we can still have a little thing on the side," said Tonks pretending to be serious.

Remus' looked at Tonks. _That's joke, it has to be!_

"Lovely, you know I'm so glad mum introduced us, you seem like the perfect woman!"

Molly was looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Bill you didn't really...did you? And Tonks you're not...are you? I-I don't understand," Molly was looking very upset and confused.

Bill and Tonks both looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles and then they hugged.

"Oh Molly, you should never try to set your sons up with someone, especially someone they already know. There is too much mischief to be had that way."

"You two have met?" asked a shocked Molly.

"Once or twice," said Bill with a smirk on his face.

"I-I just thought, that you might like each other," said a defeated Molly.

"Oh I don't think you want me going through all of your sons Molly," said Tonks with a smile.

"What does that mean?"

Bill sighed.

"Well in my Hogwarts days Charlie and I were together for a while," answered Tonks. Remus felt uncomfortable when hearing this.

"What? Why didn't he tell me?" asked Molly, and then she turned on Tonks. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know Molly; it was a long time ago, five years now."

"You still could have told me!"

Tonks looked slightly worried.

"Oh Molly I'm sorry, I didn't mean to keep it from you, it just never came up. If it helps I have nothing but good things to say about him. He treated me incredibly well and his passion for Dragons was extremely impressive. He always knew what he wanted to do and he just went for it! And Bill here, always acted like my big brother, over protective git." Tonks winked at Bill.

Nothing puts a mother in a good mood then hearing good things about her children.

"He was always such a clever, fearless thing my Charlie, I remember when he was three –"

"Oh please mum no stories!" begged Bill.

"You know, you two would have made a wonderful couple!" said Molly.

"I doubt it; besides, I hear Billy goat here got himself his very own veela, imported all the way from Paris." Tonks smirked.

"Oh yes, lovely girl," said Molly in a tone which meant the opposite. "I better start preparing dinner." Molly headed to the kitchen.

"She's only part veela Tonks and she's quite intelligent. Her name is fleur!"

Remus was all of a sudden happy how this was working out.

"As in flower?" asked Tonks as she began to giggle. "What kind of name is that?"

"Well what kind of name is Nymphadora?" Tonks promptly stopped giggling.

"Point taken."

Bill smirked.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

An hour later all those who had volunteered to collect Harry were there, the others would arrive later for another meeting. She had been avoiding speaking to Remus, he had been there during a weak moment of hers and she didn't know what to make of it. He had been so warm and so kind and she had been so weak and so childish. _What must he think of me? _As everyone was talking excitedly about Harry Potter, Tonks slipped away to be alone with her thoughts for a while. She walked up the stairs tripping forward on many stairs but not actually falling. She had never been further than the first floor. When she reached the third floor stair case she decided to sit on the top stair. She closed her eyes and leaned against the dusty railing.

Remus had seen her slip away up the stairs and he was tempted to follow. After ten minutes when she didn't return he decided to give in to temptation. Tonks opened her eyes as she heard his footsteps up the stairs.

"Are you alright" asked a concerned Remus.

"Of course Remus, I'm fine," Tonks said as she got up. "Just a little tired from work is all." _And I hate myself for crying in front of you and I wanted to get away from you._

"You're not avoiding me are you?" he asked. Her eyes snapped up to his.

"Of course not!" she said a little unconvincingly.

"Good because the other night –"

Remus stopped midsentence when Tonks lost her footing on the stairs. She would have taken a serious fall but he had caught her and held on to her with his firm arms. Tonks held onto him tightly for support. She noticed the shapely muscles of his shoulders through his shirt and she longed to run her hands back and forth over them. As they looked into each other's eyes they both noticed how close they were to each other. Tonks breathed in shakily and Remus' eyes snapped down to her lips.

"I-I'm sorry" Tonks stuttered as she pulled away.

"No it's ok," he answered, looking slightly disappointed. He swallowed hard and then spoke. "We should go; we'll probably be leaving any moment."

"Yeah," Tonks agreed as she willed her heart to slow down.

.....................................................................................................................................................................................................................

The whole way to Harry's house Tonks kept replaying how she had fallen into his arms and how he had caught her. And every time she did, she felt a little jolt of electricity run through her body. Everything felt so much lighter after this one moment, all the horrible thoughts she had had running through her mind this week were replaced by thoughts of him. She felt as if he was watching her and she liked it, she wanted him to.

**Ok folks, I need to get a bit of school work done so I solemnly swear to update after 12 reviews. I hope you liked this chapter! :)**


	10. The Advance Guard

**Hey guys, again that was so quick, I love you all! You are the reason I keep writing, well I'm also in love with Remus Lupin so he may have something to do with it, but yeah thank you so much! I am sad to say that I won't be updating as often anymore, I thought raising the bar might help, but you're all so wonderful with your reviews, so I've decided that I'm going to update once a week, every Tuesday (my time - Australian) or it may even be every fortnight, I'll see how it goes. I'm really sad about this because I've been enjoying writing this so much!! I just have too much school work.**

**Also I reread my last chapter and there's something I must clarify even though no one said anything. When Tonks made a joke about being flawed and then said that she was bisexual, I wasn't saying that being bisexual was a flaw, only that being with another person was the flaw if her and Bill were to start a relationship. And I chose for her to say that she was with a woman because I thought her character would believe that Mrs. Weasley would be shocked by it. I am all for same sex couples as long as they care, love and cherish one another which is exactly the way I feel about opposite sex couples.**

**Anyways I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

Tonks loved to fly. She's wasn't particularly gifted in the area but she wasn't bad either. She just loved how it made her feel so free. Looking down, being so far away from everything else, from the hurriedness of life, from the pain of it, everything seemed perfect. It was as if she was meant to be there, as if she fit perfectly into the grand working of the natural world. Everything was so clear.

All this was lost once her feet hit the ground of course, especially since it wasn't her feet that hit the ground first.

She made a slight gasping sound as her body made contact with the ground at number 4 Privet drive.

"Oh that's going to hurt for a while," she said cheerfully rubbing her elbow. Nothing was going to bring her out of her good mood apparently. Having a wonderful man catch when you fall will do that to a girl.

Remus was over to her before she could pick herself up.

"Are you alright?" he asked concerned as he placed one hand at her waist and the other over her hand to lift her up.

"Aren't you tired of asking me that?" she looked up at him and smiled. He was surprised at the sparkle in her eyes; he smiled back but didn't say anything. He couldn't seem to form any words.

"I was never really good at the landing part!" Tonks laughed.

"I'm hardly surprised," answered Remus with a teasing smile.

"Ok," came Moody's loud whisper, "Lupin, you're the only one of us who has met Harry properly; you will have to be the one who identifies him as not being the enemy. Unfortunately my eye doesn't see through the polyjuice potion, so we will have to question him."

Remus didn't realise that he was still holding Tonks' hand until Moody called him. He cleared his throat as he let go, he felt slightly embarrassed.

"Yes of course Alastor," he said as he walked up to the front of the group and stood next to Moody. "That shouldn't be hard at all."

As they entered the house with their brooms in one hand and wands in the other, Tonks concentrated on walking carefully. The house was rather crowded as all the order members filed in. Moody sent his broom to the backdoor with a flick of his wand, he would collect it on the way out, that way there could be more room in this abnormally clean house.

All the other members made a move to follow his action, including Tonks, however she was distracted when Remus pushed the sleave of his wand arm up. She watched him raise this muscular arm to send his broom away. She admired its manly form as the moonlight came through the nearest window lighting up the smooth curves, her fingers longed to trace a pattern along the veins. Her eyes moved up to his hand which was clutching his wand and she wondered why she had never noticed how large his hands were. _A women would sure feel warm and safe wrapped up in those arms._

Her mind drifted back to just a few days ago when he had held her, she had been too emotional to notice how good it felt. Her mind was still rather pleasantly engaged when she tried to move her boom to the backdoor. And as a consequence of being distracted, instead of moving away, her broom smacked forcefully into her shoulder which caused her to yelp and reach out to the table to steady herself. In the confusion she lost her balance and knocked a plate right off the table.

CRASH!

Everyone turned to look at Tonks.

"Tonks!" Moody growled.

"Oh I'm sorry!" she said looking at the shards of ceramic on the floor. "_Reparo"_ she incanted and the plate came back together. She picked it up and placed in on the table.

"This reminds me of your first case," laughed Kingsley. Tonks smiled. He always knew how to lighten the mood.

They all made their way up the stairs.

"_Alohamora," _Mad Eye whispered, pointing his wand at Harry bedroom door lock. "Lower your wand, boy, before you take someone's eye out."

"Professor Moody?" Tonks heard Harry's uncertain voice.

"I don't know so much about 'Professor'", never got round to much teaching did I? Get down here we want to see you properly."

There was a short silence, Harry wasn't moving. _Probably doesn't trust us, smart boy._

"It's all right, Harry. We've come to take you away," said Remus kindly. It was clear to Tonks from the tone in his voice that he was happy to see Harry. _How sweet!_

"P-Professor Lupin?" came Harry's disbelieving voice. "Is that you?"

Tonks couldn't stand the suspense of not knowing what Harry looked like anymore. "Why are we all standing in the dark?" she asked. "_Lumos_."

"Oooh, he looks just like I thought he would!" said Tonks with a smile. _Poor boy he looks so overwhelmed. _"Wotcher, Harry!"

The others began to talk as well and once they had established that it was definitely Harry and once everyone was introduced, Tonks went to help Harry pack. They didn't have much time. Tonks was already impressed with Harry, he had almost said the Dark Lords name when they were all talking before. Obviously he didn't fear to speak of such a dark powerful wizard. Kingsley had always said it, but she was still a little hesitant.

Once they were in Harry's room Tonks felt a lot more comfortable than in the other rooms, it actually looked like someone lived in there. When she opened Harry's wardrobe she saw herself in the mirror. _Ugh, this colour doesn't look as nice as I thought. I look so pale._

"You know I don't think violets really my colour. D'you think it makes me look a bit peaky?" She didn't really require an answer. Her mind drifted to Remus and what he would think of her.

"Er-"

"Yeah, it does," she said decisively. She screwed up her eyes and concentrated on the colour she wanted and a second later her hair had turned bubble-gum pink.

"How did you do that?" came Harry's surprised voice.

"I'm a Metamorphmagus," she answered not really concentrating on Harry and wondering what Remus would think of her appearance now. _Not that it matters, I don't let anyone control me or my appearance! I choose the colours I like for me! _

She went on to tell Harry how she was an Auror and she felt proud when he was impressed. _This boy isn't arrogant like I thought he would be, all the fame hasn't gone to his head._ She thought it was funny when he asked if you can learn to be a Metamorphmagus. He wanted to hide the scar he had that made him famous. An impulse she understood all too well.

After she had helped him pack, they went downstairs to find the others looking curiously at the muggle appliances and Remus had just finished writing a note to Harry's guardians about his safety. They sounded like horrible people according to the way Harry talked about minutes later they were all outside in the backyard waiting for the signal to leave.

Tonks was impressed by Harry's flying ability, firebolt or not the kid definitely had talent. She concentrated on leading the way, not enjoying flying as much as she had on the way there. The night air had dropped a few degrees and it was freezing, her mood didn't improve when Moody wanted to stay in the air longer just to be safe, she decided to follow Remus' orders and simply head to the ground. They were almost there. This time she landed perfectly. She watched Mad Eye give Harry the address of Headquarters and she suddenly felt excited. Sirius was going to see Harry which would definitely brighten Sirius' spirits.

As they entered Grimmauld place, Remus walked next to her.

"Needed no help landing I see" he teased. She made a face at him and he laughed. They both walked towards the meeting room door. Sirius was there and many others, as was Dumbledore this time. _Ah, that must be why Sirius didn't come running out to see Harry._

"_He's here,_" she mouthed to her cousin and he nodded. She frowned and wondered why he didn't look happy. _Dumbledore must have given him another lecture about staying here at Grimmauld place._ The meeting was quite long. There were many updates about new contacts made around the world and the latest political spin in the _Daily Profit_. Yet Tonks was finding it difficult to concentrate with Remus sitting right next to her.

Once the meeting was over, Dumbledore said his goodbyes and left the room quite quickly. Tonks found this rather odd and ran after him, she caught up to him just outside the front door, just before he was about the apparate.

"No wait sir!" she whispered loudly and he turned around.

"What is it Nymphadora?" he asked kindly looking over his half-moon spectacles.

"I-uh, I just thought you would be staying for dinner," she stuttered. The way he was surveying her, she felt like it was 6 years ago and she was back in his office revealing to him the most awful experiences of her past. He had asked her to explain everything to him and had promised that no harm would calm to her while she was at Hogwarts.

"I mean," she continued, "I know you don't normally stay but Harry just arrived, I thought you might want to see him and explain things to him now that he's safe. He must be so angry about not knowing about anything, but I think he would feel better if he heard it all from you." She willed herself to look him directly in the eye and not shift until he did. The stood in silence and she felt her cheeks go red as his eyes bored into hers. But finally he spoke.

"I have much to do Nymphadora...another time," he spoke in a stern voice which surprised Tonks. "Besides you have much on your mind, do you really want your old principal at the dinner table?" this time his voice was slightly teasing and she noticed the mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"Sir?" she looked confused. His eyes danced with mischief.

"Remus Lupin was one of my brightest students," he said with a knowing smile.

"What?" asked Tonks shocked as she felt her cheeks go red again. Dumbledore winked, turned around and walked away, his cloak billowing behind him.

"Remember this Nymphadora. Do not judge a person by their situation in life, do so by the manner in which they live with it," his back was still facing her as he walked away and then he suddenly disappeared.

_What on earth did he mean by that?_

**I hope you liked it, I'll be back with another chapter in the next week (or two), happy reading! Please review! XOXOXOX.**


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